Month: December 2006

Last night I had a dream that I was making a video for Hip Hop Quotables with Ludacris in a golden field of wheat under a crisp, clear blue sky somewhere in Georgia. Later in the song we were in and around a really old church, but it didn’t really look like a church from real life; more like the city of the witch king from Return of the King, except made out of those wooden poles from kids’ playgrounds. Some of them kind of looked like totem poles; i.e. carved and painted with colours like red & green & white on smooth surfaces. In the dream it was a very old, historical church. Inside there was a large open room with green wrought-iron fence across one part. At some point Ludacris and I started cheerfully dancing and lighting the church on fire with torches. As we were leaving I said, “Hey Ludacris, this is a set right? It’s not the real church, right?”

He said, “Yeah, yeah it is,” in a calm, completely un-Ludacris-like way.

I said, “Hey, I don’t really think we should be burning it down then. It’s a nice church.”

He said, “Yeah, I guess you’re probably right.” But it was pretty much too late to do anything about it.

Then I said, “Hey, aren’t there still some people inside?”

“Yeah, there are,” he said.

I went back inside to find Dennis Hastert, Pat Robertson, Dan Akroyd, and a couple other suited Republican-looking dudes trapped behind the gate. I helped them get out. On the outside they started criticizing and yelling at me like Bill O’Reilly & Co. do to people on tv.

I started yelling back and finally got them to shut up by yelling something to the effect of “I just saved your lives, don’t you think you could at least *listen* to me for just a second?” Then I started explaining in a somber and well–frankly–in a cloying and condescending way about how Jesus was loving and friendly and nice and that they weren’t following his example. And he wouldn’t advocate violence against anyone, etc. They appeared to be sorry. Pat Robertson looked at the ground. Akroyd was obviously only acting like a Republican; I don’t know why he was there.