Month: July 2006

Don’t get me wrong, having an octopus head is definitely in the top 5 of Awesome Animal Heads to Have, but I just don’t understand how cutting out your own heart and putting it in a box earns you immortality, a sailing ship that doubles as an open-air submarine, an awesome pipe organ, and an octopus head. Maybe it’s just that no one had the brass balls to actually try it before, but wow. I’ve been dumped before too dude, but it didn’t make me want to spend the rest of eternity hanging out with a bunch of barnacled assholes on a ship that just goes around ruining everyone’s day.

Also, no one’s buying the whole “so in love with a woman” excuse either. That dude sets of my gay-octo-dar like a pachinko machine.

http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1i_l0OeeMc

Most badass sports-related anything since then Cubs pitcher Kyle Farnsworth spinebuster slammed Reds’ pitcher Paul Wilson back in 03.

Results of your Attention Deficit Disorder Quiz:

You scored a total of 76

It is highly likely that you are presently suffering from adult attention deficit disorder, according to your responses on this self-report questionnaire. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional immediately.

S C O R E S
If you scored: You may have…
70 & up: Adult ADD or ADHD
50 – 69: Moderate ADD or ADHD
35 – 49: Mild ADD or ADHD
25 – 34: Borderline ADD
0 – 24: No ADD likely

This is not a diagnosis tool.

I don’t know if it factored into Mark’s decision, but the stuff that’s making me think about ditching apple is just their subtle changes in attitude the last few years.

– abandoning all of their own ui guidelines,
– making itunes more and more like a popup ad for itself
– asking me if I’m going to join shittastic .mac *twice* during install
– spotlight and dashboard being just really poorly implemented
– the finder, it tastes like burning.

You know, the kind of stuff that John Siracusa writes about.

In 2001, if any other company had made an mp3 player that you couldn’t copy your music from, it would have sold about 15 units. Most everyone didn’t think about it at the time because it was so damn prettyShiny, but the ipod is A PORTABLE HARD DRIVE… THAT DOESN’T GIVE YOUR FILES BACK. That any company who claims to make user-friendly products would intentionally create such a device is Off-The-Fucking-Wall-Chex-absurd. In fact, it’s so insane that it has to have been done on purpose. I’m not privy to what that purpose is/was (I can guess), but I’m certain that it’s not a feature that I’m going to pay for. Which is pretty sad, because I think the ipod is the best mp3 player I’ve ever used.

Anyway, it’s the things like that. The sneaking suspicion that the priorities are changing for the Evil-er. And it is shame because I really like my mac, but it’s stuff like this that makes me want to just buy a ThinkPad, install some *nix, and just live with the non-lickable ui.

Am I the only one who likes the interface in classic better?

So I was explaining the spell Turn Undead to someone. I’ve always thought it to be kind of awesomely misnamed, since it does not turn YOU undead, but turns UNdead back into ACTUALdead. Or at least turn them away, as one would a Girl Scout Cookie dealer from a different neighorhood (undead or otherwise).

When asked how one “turns away” a zombie, it really got me thinking:

Could one turn a Girl Scout Cookie dealer (in the sense of turning them back into a harmless little girl, or turning them ACTUALdead.)

What would a zombie do if turned away? Go to the next house? Rethink it’s unlife? Cry Real Zombie Tears for the first time since I moved to Switzerland? Nigerian Email-style spam zombie activities?

Can little children in any form be considered harmless? What is my government doing about the mounting threat? Al Gore, where’s your movie about that, jerkwad?

On the way to work this morning I saw a truck painted bright orange with lots of hoses and pipes coming out the back and sides. On the side, the words “Big Pfister”.

If the NSA is really tapping every phone call ever, maybe the thing to do is just make sure you always say “Oh yeah, I’m going to bomb the Dairy Queen next week. Yay Communism + Jihad + Canada!” or something in every call. If enough people participate, the government wouldn’t be able to keep up.

Well the World Cup action is heating up, and with France’s surprising victory over Brazil, it looks like we’re going to have another throwdown in the Fatherland, WWII-style. Plus, uh, Portugal will be there.

I’m pretty sure that tomorrow it will be revealed that there was a wacky SOUL MIXUP, and it was actually Brazil playing in France’s bodies and vice-versa, so Brazil will be advancing anyway. I mean, this is the team that was only scored upon once so far in the tournament, right? This is the team whose entire roster can be processed by unix shells everywhere using the regexp ‘ronald.*o’? Is this not the team whose flag looks INTERSTELLER??!*

But that’s not the only thing that’s hot these days; Marcel Dettwiler is getting on with the business over at Facing the Noise on a weekly basis.

And don’t get me started on all the pregnant ladies. Whoah!

Of course, to beat the heat in Zurich, you tram on down to the Limmat and go for a dip in TEEN-INFESTED WATERS. Meanwhile, keep it locked here ya’ll. You don’t want to be the last one on your block to find out what business an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark, do ye?

*I don’t actually care about soccer.